Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism, Part One

So, I've been thinking...when I think about how growing up a Fundamentalist affected my life, I often think in terms of what I missed out on.  But in truth, there are a lot of things that I had the opportunity to experience that non-fundies probably never have (or have only seen in movies). And so I bring you: Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism, Part One.

Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism (in no particular order)

1. Demonic Posession. I think I was around the age of 9 the first time I witnessed "demon possession". We were attanding an Assemblies of God church and a woman started becoming hysterical  - raging, and screaming incoherently from her chair in the middle of the service. She was dragged out of the sanctuary and that's all I remember. Later, as a teenager, another teenage member of my youth group became "possessed" while on a mission trip to Trinidad. We were waiting in a living room to leave to go do our skits at a local church and he did not get up from the couch when it was time. Instead, he stared blankly ahead. When prompted more strongly to get up, he slid down to the floor and began foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling back in his head. He then appeared to have a seizure ( wasn't sure then, but now I believe it was a "Tonic Clonic Seizure"). Rather than drive him to the hospital, the entire group (which included several adults) proceeded to lay him in the middle of the floor, pray over him in tongues, break to discuss why he was not responding to the prayers (they decided he was being possessed by a demon of lust and that all the pretty girls should back away and let the men deal with this demon), resumed praying (screaming in his face, calling him Satan) until he finally relaxed at which point it was assumed the demon was exorcised and we were all free to go on ahead to the church to perform our skits. He never received medical attention and I do not know if his family was ever notified.

2. Spiritual Warfare. I guess this kind of goes hand in hand with number one. But one of the most popular and enjoyed youth group activities during my teenage years was to have long, drawn out, highly emotional prayer meetings. The more crying, shaking and lying on the ground the better. It was scary and disturbing to watch your otherwise somewhat normal friends do this for hours on end. I remember wondering why I didn't really feel the need to weep or rock back and forth and I felt rather ashamed of that. The more you cried, moaned, rocked, and shook, the more spiritual it seemed you were and therefore the more looked up to - even cool. I honesty think that since church was the only social activity many of us really participated in that this was the most exciting and dramatic thing we knew we were going to experience so we figured we might as well make the most of it.

3. Slaying in the Spirit. Anyone who has ever watched Benny Hinn or similar television evangelists knows what I am referring to. (But can you believe we said that term like it was completely normal?). I myself have been pushed over a couple of times. It was how you knew the Spirit was really moving.

4. Pyrotechnics. Can anyone say Aquire the Fire? Ohhh yeah. I loved this once a year traveling youth event so very much. It was the most fun I had all year. Thousands of Fundy adolescents in one giant stadium with plenty of tear filled testimonies, convincing and emotionally manipulative altar calls (was everyone else in my youth group really in need of asking jesus in their hearts AGAIN? Was it wrong that I felt it would be disingenuous to follow suit?) and of course...large explosions to bring home the point and build up that testosterone induced enthusiasm for all this boys who were less likely to be moved by the weeping.

Altar Call:

Promo:

You might also be interested in this super fly dance number (woah! are those like pseudo hip-hop moves? How relevant!)

5. Prophecy. I wish, I wish, I wish I still had the cassette tape with the prophecy I received from a pastor. Generally, prophecies took place sometime around the Praise and Worship portion of the ceremony and often included Slaying in the Spirit and praying in Tongues. The prophesies contained quotes of scripture, general predictions of future accomplishments or events and some small crumb of personal information to make you feel like the prophesy was definitely coming from God (because how else could the Pastor know that you had been struggling with feelings of worthlessness?).

...To be continued....