Saturday, July 9, 2011
Light Dancer: Emma's Questions
Light Dancer: Emma's Questions: "This was taken by me in the rear view mirror on the way to drop my daughter Emma off at her first school dance. I love the ethereal feel of ..."
Emma's Questions
This was taken by me in the rear view mirror on the way to drop my daughter Emma off at her first school dance. I love the ethereal feel of the clouds and sky. It reminds me of a couple of different moments with my very smart, amazing little girl. The first is when she was five years old and we were on the way to her first day of Kindergarten. She had never been to pre-school, so this was a very big day. She spotted a rainbow and said excitedly, "Mommy, mommy! A rainbow! God put it there just for me for my first day of school!" (I think this is kind of like the time she was three and we were walking in the mall and she suddenly announced, "Mom, that little boy is looking at me because he thinks I'm beeeeautiful...")
It was pretty cute to hear a little five year old make such a statement about a rainbow (I distinctly remember getting a bit teary), but that same mentality in an adult...not so cute. A person's understanding of their place in the world and how life works should progress past that point as they mature....unfortunately somehow some people still seem to think that God was responsible for their Grammy award or for their win in the last football game. They think that God felt it was reasonable to honor their prayer request to "hold off the rain" for a church picnic or a day at Adventure Island even though the struggling farmer next door desperately needs the rain for his crops. If a supernatural power was responsible for holding off the rain, maybe it was Satan and not God after all....?
Fast forward 7 years...The second in-car conversation with my daughter that this photo reminds me of was just a couple of months ago. She began to tell me that she had been thinking...about all the religions and beliefs in the world...and how much the followers of those religions believed in them....and she asked me, "Why do Christians think they are the only ones who are right when others believe just as strongly that they are right?" At one time this questions would have struck paralyzing fear into my heart for a split second before I gave her the "right answer". Instead, I said...
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism, Part One
So, I've been thinking...when I think about how growing up a Fundamentalist affected my life, I often think in terms of what I missed out on. But in truth, there are a lot of things that I had the opportunity to experience that non-fundies probably never have (or have only seen in movies). And so I bring you: Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism, Part One.
Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism (in no particular order)
1. Demonic Posession. I think I was around the age of 9 the first time I witnessed "demon possession". We were attanding an Assemblies of God church and a woman started becoming hysterical - raging, and screaming incoherently from her chair in the middle of the service. She was dragged out of the sanctuary and that's all I remember. Later, as a teenager, another teenage member of my youth group became "possessed" while on a mission trip to Trinidad. We were waiting in a living room to leave to go do our skits at a local church and he did not get up from the couch when it was time. Instead, he stared blankly ahead. When prompted more strongly to get up, he slid down to the floor and began foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling back in his head. He then appeared to have a seizure ( wasn't sure then, but now I believe it was a "Tonic Clonic Seizure"). Rather than drive him to the hospital, the entire group (which included several adults) proceeded to lay him in the middle of the floor, pray over him in tongues, break to discuss why he was not responding to the prayers (they decided he was being possessed by a demon of lust and that all the pretty girls should back away and let the men deal with this demon), resumed praying (screaming in his face, calling him Satan) until he finally relaxed at which point it was assumed the demon was exorcised and we were all free to go on ahead to the church to perform our skits. He never received medical attention and I do not know if his family was ever notified.
2. Spiritual Warfare. I guess this kind of goes hand in hand with number one. But one of the most popular and enjoyed youth group activities during my teenage years was to have long, drawn out, highly emotional prayer meetings. The more crying, shaking and lying on the ground the better. It was scary and disturbing to watch your otherwise somewhat normal friends do this for hours on end. I remember wondering why I didn't really feel the need to weep or rock back and forth and I felt rather ashamed of that. The more you cried, moaned, rocked, and shook, the more spiritual it seemed you were and therefore the more looked up to - even cool. I honesty think that since church was the only social activity many of us really participated in that this was the most exciting and dramatic thing we knew we were going to experience so we figured we might as well make the most of it.
3. Slaying in the Spirit. Anyone who has ever watched Benny Hinn or similar television evangelists knows what I am referring to. (But can you believe we said that term like it was completely normal?). I myself have been pushed over a couple of times. It was how you knew the Spirit was really moving.
4. Pyrotechnics. Can anyone say Aquire the Fire? Ohhh yeah. I loved this once a year traveling youth event so very much. It was the most fun I had all year. Thousands of Fundy adolescents in one giant stadium with plenty of tear filled testimonies, convincing and emotionally manipulative altar calls (was everyone else in my youth group really in need of asking jesus in their hearts AGAIN? Was it wrong that I felt it would be disingenuous to follow suit?) and of course...large explosions to bring home the point and build up that testosterone induced enthusiasm for all this boys who were less likely to be moved by the weeping.
Altar Call:
Promo:
You might also be interested in this super fly dance number (woah! are those like pseudo hip-hop moves? How relevant!)
5. Prophecy. I wish, I wish, I wish I still had the cassette tape with the prophecy I received from a pastor. Generally, prophecies took place sometime around the Praise and Worship portion of the ceremony and often included Slaying in the Spirit and praying in Tongues. The prophesies contained quotes of scripture, general predictions of future accomplishments or events and some small crumb of personal information to make you feel like the prophesy was definitely coming from God (because how else could the Pastor know that you had been struggling with feelings of worthlessness?).
...To be continued....
Top 10 Unique Experiences Provided by Charismatic Fundamentalism (in no particular order)
1. Demonic Posession. I think I was around the age of 9 the first time I witnessed "demon possession". We were attanding an Assemblies of God church and a woman started becoming hysterical - raging, and screaming incoherently from her chair in the middle of the service. She was dragged out of the sanctuary and that's all I remember. Later, as a teenager, another teenage member of my youth group became "possessed" while on a mission trip to Trinidad. We were waiting in a living room to leave to go do our skits at a local church and he did not get up from the couch when it was time. Instead, he stared blankly ahead. When prompted more strongly to get up, he slid down to the floor and began foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling back in his head. He then appeared to have a seizure ( wasn't sure then, but now I believe it was a "Tonic Clonic Seizure"). Rather than drive him to the hospital, the entire group (which included several adults) proceeded to lay him in the middle of the floor, pray over him in tongues, break to discuss why he was not responding to the prayers (they decided he was being possessed by a demon of lust and that all the pretty girls should back away and let the men deal with this demon), resumed praying (screaming in his face, calling him Satan) until he finally relaxed at which point it was assumed the demon was exorcised and we were all free to go on ahead to the church to perform our skits. He never received medical attention and I do not know if his family was ever notified.
2. Spiritual Warfare. I guess this kind of goes hand in hand with number one. But one of the most popular and enjoyed youth group activities during my teenage years was to have long, drawn out, highly emotional prayer meetings. The more crying, shaking and lying on the ground the better. It was scary and disturbing to watch your otherwise somewhat normal friends do this for hours on end. I remember wondering why I didn't really feel the need to weep or rock back and forth and I felt rather ashamed of that. The more you cried, moaned, rocked, and shook, the more spiritual it seemed you were and therefore the more looked up to - even cool. I honesty think that since church was the only social activity many of us really participated in that this was the most exciting and dramatic thing we knew we were going to experience so we figured we might as well make the most of it.
3. Slaying in the Spirit. Anyone who has ever watched Benny Hinn or similar television evangelists knows what I am referring to. (But can you believe we said that term like it was completely normal?). I myself have been pushed over a couple of times. It was how you knew the Spirit was really moving.
4. Pyrotechnics. Can anyone say Aquire the Fire? Ohhh yeah. I loved this once a year traveling youth event so very much. It was the most fun I had all year. Thousands of Fundy adolescents in one giant stadium with plenty of tear filled testimonies, convincing and emotionally manipulative altar calls (was everyone else in my youth group really in need of asking jesus in their hearts AGAIN? Was it wrong that I felt it would be disingenuous to follow suit?) and of course...large explosions to bring home the point and build up that testosterone induced enthusiasm for all this boys who were less likely to be moved by the weeping.
Altar Call:
Promo:
You might also be interested in this super fly dance number (woah! are those like pseudo hip-hop moves? How relevant!)
5. Prophecy. I wish, I wish, I wish I still had the cassette tape with the prophecy I received from a pastor. Generally, prophecies took place sometime around the Praise and Worship portion of the ceremony and often included Slaying in the Spirit and praying in Tongues. The prophesies contained quotes of scripture, general predictions of future accomplishments or events and some small crumb of personal information to make you feel like the prophesy was definitely coming from God (because how else could the Pastor know that you had been struggling with feelings of worthlessness?).
...To be continued....
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sugar and Bikes and Everything Nice!
I love pretty things. I think that I have always thought that if I could create something beautiful with my art, it would make that beautiful world my reality. And in a way, it kind of does. (All images Copyright protected, Tara Tomlinson 2010.)
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Finally.
OK...so. I am finally here.
I have been telling myself that I need to start blogging. But not for myself, for my photography business. Yet I could never find the time. But here I am today, creating my first blog post. And what has finally motivated me? I need an outlet.
I use my Facebook for my business. It is filled with clients of all religious and political beliefs. I don't want to offend those who could potentially pay my next moth's electric bill, if you know what I mean. And so I here I am in the realm of semi-anonymous blogging. An online diary that I can't help but hope someone, somewhere will read. I want so much to find my voice. To share my thoughts on life and on myself and the perspective I have to offer.
I don't want to be afraid to speak anymore. And yet I guess I am. Because I hesitate to put in the title of this blog what I really want to say. That I am a recovering Evangelical Christian and that I need to be heard and I need to hear from others who understand. That I want answers - and I want people to answer for their beliefs and behaviors - a want I will most likely never have met - and that is something that I need to face.
And so here I type...words that may or may not ever be read. Hopefully they will speak to at least one person some day - myself. Welcome, self, to your journey. It is time to dance - in the light.
I have been telling myself that I need to start blogging. But not for myself, for my photography business. Yet I could never find the time. But here I am today, creating my first blog post. And what has finally motivated me? I need an outlet.
I use my Facebook for my business. It is filled with clients of all religious and political beliefs. I don't want to offend those who could potentially pay my next moth's electric bill, if you know what I mean. And so I here I am in the realm of semi-anonymous blogging. An online diary that I can't help but hope someone, somewhere will read. I want so much to find my voice. To share my thoughts on life and on myself and the perspective I have to offer.
I don't want to be afraid to speak anymore. And yet I guess I am. Because I hesitate to put in the title of this blog what I really want to say. That I am a recovering Evangelical Christian and that I need to be heard and I need to hear from others who understand. That I want answers - and I want people to answer for their beliefs and behaviors - a want I will most likely never have met - and that is something that I need to face.
And so here I type...words that may or may not ever be read. Hopefully they will speak to at least one person some day - myself. Welcome, self, to your journey. It is time to dance - in the light.
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